Am I....

Am I really the only one who hates the way people treat each other?

I know it might seem stupid I'm asking that, but it seems to be a real issue nowadays. The person who's nice and always there for others always ends up getting hurt, used, disrespected, and disappointed. Do people just have to be bitchy in order to get any respect at all? Or is it the fact that some people just aren't mature enough to realize what they're doing to others?

What happened to those days when you didn't have to worry about what anyone else was saying because you already knew that they respect you enough not to say anything to anyone else? Now because of that fear, people have to put up so many guards just to keep themselves from getting hurt. This in turn causes people to hide themselves and not really get to know one another, or give others a chance to know them. At the same time, you have a hard time trusting anyone who comes near you because everything they say to you is something you've heard before. After time, however, you get enough courage to hopefully move on with your life and take a chance.

And that one time you take the chance and really let someone in, you end up getting hurt to the point where you don't want to do anything at all. It's so hard to get past that point because you don't know what to do or how to help yourself heal. You basically get to the point where you lock everything and everyone out and don't want to accept anything. But if you have an outlet, such as dance, you find that you get through it so much better.

There's never an easier or faster way to heal, but if you can express how you feel through your outlet it really does help. You discover more things about yourself than you never thought were possible. You expand and give yourself that chance to learn and grow more as a person. You start to really discover who you are and want you want. Not what you think you want because you're settling for something that's not going to work in the end.

My reason for writing this is not to take up your time reading this long essay/blog/whatever else you want to call it, but to open many people's eyes to what really goes on when others realize what's being done to them. I, for one, realize many things but choose not to do anything about them. I really don't know why I'm this way, but I hope others who are like me in a way see what I've gone through and that they can overcome this too. You can be successful!! You can overcome people putting you down because they think you'll amount to nothing. You have to believe in yourself and have an amazing friends and family to back you up!! I love you guys and couldn't have made it this far without you!! <3 <3 <3

Why?

Why are so many people hurt with one life altering incident? This question came up with the recent tragedy in Haiti. I can't even begin to image how many people are hurting physically and emotionally from this*. At the same time I wonder how this question applies to my life and also those across the nation and the world. That seems a little selfish since the recent happenings, but you'll have to forgive me since I'm a curious person. I tend to want to know more and how we, as people, can learn from certain situations.

How is it that when something like what happened in Haiti makes us realize how one choice or one accident can hurt so many? For instance, someone takes something you said and twists it, next thing you know it spreads like wild fire until everyone hates you because of what they think you said. When in fact it was just the other person trying to ruin you and your friendships. Why do some people always feel the need to destroy something that isn't theirs? It just doesn't make sense to me...most people say it's because they're jealous, but what entitles them to do that?

For my entire life I've been known as the "nice girl", or the way I think of it as someone who people can walk all over. Honestly, I've gotten tired of that fact and have been trying to change that. It's proven to be one of the biggest challenges of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love to be challenged; especially if someone says I can't do something, and I prove them wrong. But it does take some callusing of my self-esteem in order to get past the negative comments. I thought I had gotten over all of that, but sitting here and writing this has made me realize that I simply just pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind hoping I would eventually forget about them. Unfortunately, I'm not that lucky....






*My thoughts and prayers are with all those who are down there or have friends or family down there.