New School Year

So I know it's been awhile since I've written anything on here, and I'm sorry for that. I've been UBER busy getting all settled in for the new school year. It's already looking like a crazy one, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

So new happenings that come with a new school year. I have met a lot of the first years (freshman) and they are out of the their minds!! This years incoming class has the mind set of "I'm 18 and I'm in college so I can do whatever the fuck I want", which in my opinion is kinda scary. But hopefully after the first two months hopefully everything will have calmed down. So the deal with me and LJ is we're just friends who happen to hook up every once in a while. No strings attached. This was my call so I'm basically controlling the situation which is nice that way I can call it off if I feel myself getting emotionally attached. Honestly, my goals is to just have fun and find a nice guy soon. I'm so tired of being alone at night without anyone to cuddle with. It's the little things in life that make us the happiest right?

Travels

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything, but I've been busy traveling the USA. I started off in NC then went home to FL, then to TX even if it was for just a layover, then to CO. I had fun visiting friends and looking at all the fine guys there. Did some hiking as well and it was amazing!! Just when you think my traveling is done...its not. I have to travel to three different cities in the state of NC. After that is done I go back to school, so this month has been really busy for me. I have loved every second of it. Well I have to go pack so I'll post later!

About Fed Up....

So I'm staying with some of my mom's friends and I have been for the past 2-3 weeks. I've about had it though. Every time I watch or rather try to watch TV they feel as though they need to talk about everything that's going on within the show. Then they miss parts and ask me what was said and done, when I can't hear a fucking thing because they were talking! I can't wait to get out of here!!!!!!! At least I only have one day left and then I'm out of here for about 2 weeks!

Weekend Getaway

So I went to my Godparents house in West Virginia this past weekend. I really needed that to get me out of the funk I was in. I was in this depressive state for the past week and a half that I didn't even realize until I got back today. My friends that I'm staying with kept saying "you must have gotten laid because you look so happy." But the fact is I didn't, just me being with some of my family and back to some normalcy made me happier. Then again I haven't seen my Godparents in about 2 years.

Anywho...I get to go home on Thursday and I already have a lot of plans to get together with some of my friends. And yes EJ is one of them. He and I have been talking a lot more than we ever did in high school, even when we were dating. He's been telling me the exciting adventures of getting his own place, and living on his own, etc. He invited me to come chill at his place, and I said I would if he taught me how to drive stick. Oh...I almost forgot....I decided to trade in my car for a 6 speed manual Jeep Wrangler. I figured it would be a better car for when it snows. I already talked to my parents and they said they would help me with the search and everything. The only reason I went to them is because my car right now is technically theirs. So I have to get their approval in order to sell the car.

Wow....that's a lot of not needed information, but I'm so excited about the new (not to mention happy) things in my life. Now all I need is for the school year to start so I can be with all my friends again. I miss them SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much it's crazy.

Oh but back to my getaway. So I drove 3 1/2 hours by myself to WV and it was actually fun, except for the fact that I was stuck for about 5 miles in bumper to bumper traffic. Oh and did I mention I was stuck on a bridge for about 20 minutes between two semi trucks?! That's my worst nightmare because all I kept thinking about was the bridge collapsing and me becoming a bug sandwich after falling to my death in the Virginia mountains. Great imagining isn't it? So after conquering traffic and making it to safety my Godparents took me out to eat. There we met up with my Godmother's sister and her husband. We had a great dinner and the waiter kept flirting with me even though I didn't look all that great. But that's not the best part (add sarcasm here). I went back to my Godparents house only to get hit on by a 14 year-old for 3 days straight.....(no sarcasm here) However, my last night with them my Godmother tells me that her sister wants me to come back up and meet her grandson who is my age and he's on football scholarship in some college up there. So it looks like I'll be making another trip up there at some point. ;-)

Something.....

So I was talking to one of my friends who is in the naval academy. We were talking about relationships, experiences, and stuff along those lines. I told him some of the stuff about how guys only see me as a booty call and how I can't seem to find a guy who wants more than that. All he said to me was "you deserve so much more than that." That simple sentence made me realize I do, and that I need to stop being so hard and self-conscious and just let things go. Eventually there will be a guy that will want more than that.

On a side note, I'm not sure if I had mentioned this before, but my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease about a year ago. At first he had a tough time adjusting to this thought, but now he's fine with it. He openly tells his friends about everything. His doctor's appointments have been ok until the other day. He got great news about how the disease had not progressed at all since he was first diagnosed! My entire family and I are thrilled about this news! So I just had to share that. Now off to enjoy my Sunday!

Low days

You know how if you sit around long enough you start to contemplate everything in your life and where you are in it? Well I'm there right now. Today it hit me, again, how I might be alone for the rest of my life. It's quite upsetting how I constantly have guys hitting on me, yet none of them want a serious relationship. There's only one other person I know who's in a similar situation I'm in, Nik. Yes that is his name, and the only reason why I'm using it is because I know he probably won't mind; oh and I have nothing bad to say about him. =)He's one of my best friends and basically the only person I trust completely since he goes through the same shit I do.
Anyway, the reason for this blog is I just don't understand why I can't have anything more than a one night stand, ex with benefits, or friends with benefits. I really want something more, but it seems like that's not possible with me. I just hope one day soon I can find a guy who isn't scared of a long term relationship and honestly likes me for me. Is that too much to ask for?

On my own

I've recently come to the realization that I can't wait to have a place of my own. It seems like a huge task for someone who's barely out of her teens. But I couldn't be more excited. I think I'm going to start looking for apartments and such ASAP. I couldn't be more excited to cook, clean, and have my own place. It's just too bad that I have to wait a full year before I'll be able to do this. I just hope that i can find a place within my budget.

Thoughts that run through my mind

Like every little girl, I always wanted to be the beautiful princess that every prince wanted. Even though I'm older now, I still want that (minus the princess and prince part). I'm not sure if it's just me being to self-conscious or what, but I've never seen myself as pretty,beautiful,hott, etc. Since I have yet to encounter a guy who isn't desperate this summer my self-esteem has hit an all time low. Don't get me wrong I've had fun, but at the same time I would like to settle into a nice relationship now. I'm tired of only being a friend with benefits type of thing. This might mean me taking a risk on my part considering I hate first dates since they seem SOOO awkward to me. Ugh....is it too much to ask to find a nice guy who would want to be in a relationship for a few months? If so then I guess I'm shit out of luck.....

Girls unable to think? I think not!!

So I was talking to this guy last night through texting and he thought he had to explain everything to me in layman's terms so I could understand. Little did he know I already knew everything he was saying. It just seemed to me that he felt I was too stupid to put two and two together. It was almost as if he was trying to teach me the alphabet or how to write. I'm pretty sure you'll agree with me when I say that girls are way smarter than we look, no matter what guys think. We always have 10,000,000 things running through our minds all the time yet we're able to make it seem like there's nothing going on. Also, in case you didn't know we have thought of every possible outcome to a situation before even one word leaves a guys lips. It's so frustrating to think that guys assume that girls are dumb or aren't as intuitive as we really are. In all honesty we might even surpass the male IQ. Actually, I take that back I know we do. Considering guys are stupid enough to give up the chivalry that makes every girl melt/buckle at the knee/what have you....Now I want to challenge my male followers out there to just try chivalry out for one week and see how many female responses you get. I bet it will be more good than bad, although there are those occasional women who are very independent. Anyways...take the challenge if you dare and let me know how that goes. I'm sure you will have more women wanting to talk to you if you do this.

Confrontation

So today, I was in one of my usual places talking with the usual people and the subject of LJ came up. Of course it's still a sore subject since we've talked once this entire summer, and that came from me starting the conversation. Anyways, I have this gut feeling about him that when we see each other again he's only going to want a booty call. I'm not that type of girl...EVER. Don't get me wrong LJ and I had some good times. There were those times in the shower.....those times in my room....those times at some parties....but we were together during that time so it was different....I think. This is all just a confusing matter that I really don't care what happens in the end.