Being an outcast is never fun but it seems to follow me where ever I go. Like for some reason no matter what I say or do it always happens. I'm wondering if I'm the only one who has had this happen to them before or if it's God testing me. It was crazy of me to think that just by moving on with my life that this would change when it really wouldn't.
This is my first post so you'll have to forgive me if I go off on tangents. So much has changed yet has stayed the same...if that makes any sense. I'm wondering if I'll ever find someone who will understand me and care enough to not judge me. At the same time, I wonder if people will ever find a sense of being completely straight up and honest (this is mainly pointed towards the male gender). Right when I thought I had found someone he goes and ruins me...in a way that I can't even describe. I'm sure everyone has been there at some point in their life, but when it happens to you, you feel all alone. I still feel that way to this day. The feelings of pain and hurt still follow me....it's like I'm not myself any more. Instead of looking for the good in people, I now look for the ways in which they could possibly hurt me. So now I'm wondering if this is natural or if I'm just so guarded I can't help but to look at people through these New Eyes.
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