Spontaneousness

I'm proud to say that I have become a little more spontaneous besides the fact that I am scared shitless of so many things. If any of my family is reading this, which I doubt they are, but they should stop reading now otherwise they are going to be very disappointed or shocked with me. As for the rest of you, things with LJ have been heating up a lot lately. He stays in my room every night and things have been getting interesting lately. When he first started staying over, it was just to have someone in bed with you, but now that we know each other more that's a different story. To keep this on the short side, we took a shower together last night for the first time. I really love do this with my boyfriends, but since we aren't that type of couple (using that term loosely) yet, that was a huge risk for me!!! I don't trust people (mainly guys) that easily, especially the ones at my school in which I have been warned about (i.e. actors). But I guess most girls are that way because of their past relationships.

I'm the type of person that no matter how many times people say I have a nice body or anything along those lines, I'm still really self-conscious about myself. Having a guy see me completely naked is like my worst nightmare!! But I decided to take a risk and see what might happen. I'm glad I did because I had fun, and can't wait to do it again. Of course that's all up to him.

Anyways, the point of my blog today is to say that I'm actually trying to believe in myself and take risks more. Hopefully, my New Year's resolution combined with trying to be more spontaneous will help me over come some of my fears and insecurities. We'll have to see how it goes though.

One last thing, I'm really starting to like LJ A LOT!! And I'm scared that being apart for the summer might changes things between him and I. I really hope not though, but only time will tell.